I have been feeling discouraged lately...sad and upset that I'm not meeting the expectations that I have for myself. I don't know if my expectations are too high or if I'm just being lazy and not meeting them? Sometimes, I don't know how to find joy in changing diapers, tantrums, throw up, picky eaters, cleaning up 10 times a days, messes, dirty dishes, getting woken up at 4 in the morning from a crying teething baby, not being able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it because I have to worry about hauling 2 children out the door...the list goes on and on...being a mom is hard. My whole life revolves around my 2 children! I find myself losing my patience more often than I would like to admit...and I become this grouchy, selfish mom...SELFISH and MOM...what an oxymoron!!!!! I guess, I miss the days when I was free, when I was my only responsibility, when I didn't have to feel bad if I wanted to go to a movie or even take a looooong shower...but those days are NEVER coming back...Why can't I just be the mom who never complains and embraces the dirty dishes in the sink or the messes that my kids make? The thing is that I love my children, I love being a mom to them, but I'm not in love with all the extra stuff that comes with being a mom and the feeling of confinement that I sometimes feel.
This morning my best friend Timber called, as if she knew that I needed her words of encouragement...I guess Heavenly Father sends us angels when we least expect them...she was my angel this morning...she understands and I don't ever feel judged when I'm sharing how I feel with her. She shared with me a few articles from the Ensign that she had recently read that had given her encouragement. "Mothers Who Know" and "What Latter-day Saint Women Do Best: Stand Strong and Immovable" both given by Julie B. Beck. There were quite a few points given that touched me deeply and comforted me in my role as a mother...I tend to get caught up in the little things of life and I forget to have an eternal perspective...
"Faithful daughters of God desire children." (and everything that comes with having them!!!) These 6 words touched me deeper than anything else I read...it's interesting how it says faithful daughters, not just daughters but faithful daughters, sometimes faith is what I lack.
"Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord's kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power" (Is there a greater job for us women? Is there a greater task out in the world for us to do than being a mommy to these children? I realize right now that there is not. This is the greatest job we can have, to shape a life, wow that is powerful)
"Families mean work, but they are our great work-and we are not afraid of work. This is what we do best; no one does families better than the sister of this Relief Society. We uphold, nourish, and protect them." (WOW!!! This is so powerful is making me cry!!!)
"Women find true happiness when they understand and delight in their unique role within the plan of salvation."
When I start pondering these things, I realize that there is purpose for the things I have to go through everyday with my children. I guess that I have to ponder these truths more often so that I have this eternal perspective always. It is too easy to lose that perspective...But the gospel encourages in our motherhood, what a great support we have! "The only place Latter-day Saint women will learn the whole and complete truth about their indispensable role in the plan of happiness is in this Church and its doctrine. We know that in the great premortal conflict we sided with our Savior, Jesus Christ, to preserve our potential to belong to eternal families" Julie B. Beck. I feel much better now...thank you for reading!
This is Braden saying, "see mommy... I told you I am here for a reason!"
12 comments:
Thanks so much for this post! It was just what I needed today. I seriously could feel myself relaxing while I read this. Bless you!
I know how you feel. I feel the same way sometimes. It just depends on the day. Thanks for the awesome quotes. I love those talks too. Missed seeing you up at Targhee. Hopefully we'll see you soon.
I have been feeling very similar lately about how much work it is to be a Mom. I've been wondering why I have such a hard time being unselfish. I never want to leave Nathan, and yet I crave 'me' time a lot. It was comforting to hear that I'm not the only one, and to be reminded of the things that are most important! Even the greatest of mothers get frustrated, depressed, and overwhelmed. You are so cute with your family. Thanks for blogging.
I love this post! It is so much work. Even when you have as sweet of baby as Braden. Steph Berglind just sent me a book called "I am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. I can't wait to read it!! I will let you know how it goes. She says it is so good. We can always use some more inspiration some times!!
Denisse, thank you for sharing those thoughts and quotes. Though I am not a mother yet, things like this make me reflect on our divine role as women and the great work we have on this earth. You are a great mother and you have such a cute family! Keep doing all those little things, even the mundane things, I know they don't go unnoticed by the Lord and they will bless your family.
Wow, I could have written this myself! I feel the exact same way a lot of times, and just like you said, more times than I'd like to admit! Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Thank you for sharing those quotes, they made me cry. (another joy of being a mother...I cry so easily now! lol) I love reading your blog, keep up the good work!
Thanks for you thoughts. Being a mom is not easy. Sister Beck was truly inspired to give those talks. I've been uplifted by them as well. It's hard keeping an eternal perspective but it's sure nice when we can. Thanks for posting.
Denisse thanks for the beautiful, truthful post! I know you're not alone! It is easy for me to feel frustrated and inadequate too. Thanks for posting the encouraging quotes! You and Scott have become such great friends! I'm so thankful to know you!
I am so touched. Clearly the Lord works in mysterious ways because there was more than one of us who needed to hear this. I got so choked up as I read your post because I have been feeling just like you and I couldn't figure out how to vocalize what I was feeling. I thank you for the quotes you shared and I will read those talks and I think I will share them with my YW as well. I think the winter compounds feelings as well because something as simple as getting into the car becomes a project. Just know that you're not alone. And, someday it your kids will grow up and all of the everyday messes and tantrums will end. You're a great mom, because you care.
Denise~ I think I am opposite from everyone's comments. I actually needed this to make me grateful for where I am now! Which is working full time and no children :) I enjoy what I do, but I tell Dave a lot that I can't wait to be a mommy. But reading all that you said, made me realize I should just enjoy this time that I CAN be selfish. So thank you! I found a quote that I made my new motto in life: "Attitude is so important in finding joy. Do not look forward to different conditions to bring you joy. You will lose it in the searching"
Oh Denise, I think every mom can relate so don't beat yourself up too much. And if you ever need to get out for a little bit, but don't want to go far you are always more than welcome at my place. :) It's a fairly easy trip down the sidewalk. LOL I have found that I just have to get through those tough days and then the good ones always come which remind me why I love my role so much!
Thanks to everyone's comments!!! It means so much to know that I'm not the only one struggling in my role as a mom! But like some of you said the good days make all the hard work completely worth it!
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