Around Here | October 2014 | Life, Trials & Halloween

Life, life, life! We are continuing to live life, despite my lack of blogging, which I miss so much. Life goes on, so much is happening all the time.  I will never catch up with my blog if I don't start from where we are now.  Our summer was fun, I have hundreds of pictures to prove it.  Scott worked a ton, the kids and I tried to keep busy, a new school year started, I got a job teaching Spanish at a preschool, the kids have grown a ton, Braden started piano lessons and kung fu, Brielle continues to play the piano and is also taking ballet, (which means I am driving all the time)...Brooke and I spend way too much time together, Scott and I got called as Cub Scout leaders, which basically means, I do all the work because he is working all the time (which I don't mind), Scott has 8 months left of residency, which is exciting but it also means that we have to worry and agonize about where we are going to live next, and it means a whole lot of filling out work applications, etc, etc.  Despite it all, Scott and I continue to love each other and wish we had more time to spend together...Work, kids, life, callings, responsibility, that is our life right now.  I am reminded of Elder Uchtdorf's talk a couple of years ago, when he said, "Isn't it true that we often get so busy? And, sad to say, we even wear our busyness as a badge of honor, as though being busy, by itself, was an accomplishment or a sign of a superior life." 

I don't wish to wear my busyness as my badge of honor, as Elder Uchdorft said, but it is what our life is right now and let's be honest, being too busy doesn't always bring the best in me.  Don't get me wrong, being busy can be a good thing, I feel like our family is being productive and we are all doing good things.   There has been a lot of learning happening these last few months, on trying to prioritize the things that matter most.  I have come to find out that I am very impatient with my mortality.  I think I should have figured this out long ago, but somehow I am just learning this about myself.  I often find myself wishing I had endless amounts of energy.  Exhaustion is what I feel at the end of the day.  The first few weeks after I started working, there was a lot of adjustment.  For about two or three weeks the end of the day was hell.  Literally, it was bad.  I stopped reading scriptures with the kids, bedtime is a never ending ritual, every single night, it seems to drag and drag...but during those weeks of lack of scripture reading, I felt empty, I was missing something.  

I was reminded that life really is all about priorities and being consistent in choosing the better part of life and that for me and my family is reading scriptures together every night.  

It was good to be reminded of that.
I have now gotten into a routine, we have adjusted and I feel like I have things more under control.

October started with our first den meeting.  

These 3 little cub scouts are so cute and so happy to be cub scouts.  

We have so much fun every week and I'm learning a lot with them.  

On the days, Scott is home he joins us and those days are even more fun! 

Scott's schedule in October was awful.  It seems like I say that a lot and I wish it didn't feel good to complain about it.  But it does.  Wards and night float are not a good combination.  People are not meant to work this much.  One day a week off and 15 hour days=no family life.  But I guess, we survived another month of residency.  I wish this kind of schedule didn't affect me and I could be super woman, never complain, always happy, positive and grateful...but the truth is that sometimes I only feel the opposite, I complain, I am a grouch, I am negative and I don't feel grateful.  

Then General Conference happened...and I needed to hear every word uttered during every session of this conference.  The Lord, as always, was so mindful of me.  He always is, he's always there.  So many messages that felt so personal and this is how we spent conference weekend...  

As I said earlier, Brookie and I spend way too much time together.  

She is as stubborn as they come but oh how we love her.  She makes us laugh and actually loves to make us laugh.  This particular night, she was asking every possible question to avoid going to sleep! Aaah!!! She definitely has a mind of her own! 

She has been loving going to preschool.  

She is growing up way too fast. 

In October, we also had a nice visit to Timber's house.  

It was a weekend full of fun.  It was good to spend time with good friends.  

As usual, my kids loved spending time in the wide open spaces. 

These two good friends of mine, who also happen to be my visiting teachers took me out to lunch for my birthday.  Zuppa's never dissapoints! and it was so fun to spend time with these two fun ladies. 

Brielle and Braden got their school pictures back and I can't believe how old they both look! 

It is wonderful and sad all at the same time.  

Fall was beautiful here in Salt Lake City.  

It brought so much joy to my heart to watch the leaves turn colors. 

Brooke also had her first preschool field trip to the pumpkin patch. 

We also celebrated Scott's grandma's 90th birthday.  

I was able to help with some of the preparations for the event.  It was fun and a lot of work! 

With all the family that came to town, we ended up having no place to stay, so we stayed at a hotel and as you can see Scott and the kids had a blast in the pool. 

I am so glad that everything turned out as planned and grandma had an enjoyable time.  

We were all so glad to be there with her celebrating this BIG event for her and all of us.  Grandma Jensen has given Scott such cherished childhood memories and has influenced the man that he is today with her example of hard work and faith in God.  She continues to love our children and influence them for good.  Her good, righteous influence will be felt for many generations to come! 

So glad we were part of her big day! 

This was my favorite moment of the party, most of all the great grandkids were there and they sang 'I'm a Child of God'.

One day, before leaving to his night shift, Scott made chocolates with the kids.  

He was trying to show them how much fun he had making these with Grandma Jensen.  

I think that is Scott's most favorite memories with his grandma.  

Brielle continues to be my right arm! She is my helper and eases my work load at home helping me bathe Brooke and get her ready for bed.  Oh how I love and appreciate her.  

My beautiful street on a fall day! 

I love the colors.

I have made such dear friends here in Salt Lake! These two ladies, had a birthday lunch for me.  I seriously had almost a month's worth of celebrating.  Can't believe I turned 34! Man! 

Weekends can be so hard when Scott is working so much, so one Saturday we headed to see abuelita.  We had some good fun playing in the leaves. 

We also got to see our cute little Vanessa! 

She is getting so big!

Braden gave me very specific instructions for his Halloween costume! 

I love him! Scott has been reading The Hobbit to them and 

he decided he wanted to be Bilbo Baggins.  

This little Brookie had so much fun cleaning out of the pumpkins! 

She could do it all day, if she could.  

Our final product! 

We had fun dressing up for our Halloween party at the preschool! 

We got to see the kiddos in their costumes at the school parade, even Scott was able to come! 

Halloween day finally came and we had a cute witch, Elsa from Frozen and Bilbo Baggins! 

Braden even got hairy feet! 

Scott was able to hang out with us before going to work.  Since he was on night float, he didn't have to go until 7pm. 

Halloween 2014. 

These are our fun friends all dressed up.  

We really lucked out with such a good community of friends and neighbors here in Salt Lake. 

Love these two girls. They are such good little friends. 

...and Braden, the photo bomber! 

Trick or treating was fun for about 5 minutes! 

At one  point, Brooke said to me, "I'm done trick or treating mom!" 

We trick or treating a while longer for the older kids' sake 

but they were also ready to call it a night sooner than I had anticipated, 

which was perfectly fine with me. 

We had a successful Halloween and 

Brooke was out at the end of such a fun day! 

October brought all of these fun moments, which I am so so grateful for.  I love being able to reflect on the successful, happy moments we have together.  Blogging does this to me, it brings perspective and I can focus on my blessings and the things that matter most.  Amidst all of these happy moments though, October also brought sad moments and for some reason I feel I need to share it here in this space; which continues to be my favorite space in the internet.  

If I were to end this post now, you would think that life is peachy for the Jensens.  

But life always has a way of keeping things real and life is not always peachy.  

Scott and I finally decided to have one last baby...I was a little pregnant for most of September and part of October.  I say a little pregnant because I was just 8 weeks when I miscarried.  It happened on my birthday of all days, there had been uncertainty from almost the beginning of the pregnancy so I was kind of expecting it; but at the same time I felt hopeful that things would be okay.  I had one miscarriage before this one very early on and I know miscarriages are common and a part of life, but for some reason this one was different.  

You would think that it would have been easier for me to deal with this, since I was only 8 weeks along...but I liked my due date and I was ready to jump in and do this one last time...For about 5 to 6 weeks, I experienced pregnancy symptoms, I was exhausted and just felt pregnant but I was happy and hopeful that we would add one more baby to our family.  

But the Lord, had other plans, and somehow this was a trial I had to go through.  It was painful and sad.  My heart ached a lot...and I understood for one minuscule second and in a much smaller scale, 

the pain that so many women go through who have fertility issues, lose babies, etc.  It is not fun and it is lonely.  It is you and your body dealing with everything that a miscarriage brings.  

I was an emotional wreck, not because I wanted to, but because that is just the nature of all of the hormonal changes happening in your body.  I am glad it is over.  Scott gave me a priesthood blessing in the midst of this, and said that I would feel empathy for other women who go through this, and I can tell you that I do, I think I always did, but now it is different.  I have felt the pain.  It also brought some understanding on what the atonement means when we go through this kind of sorrow.  I felt closer to my Savior.  I hope I learned what I needed to learn from this experience, I really do. 

Life is life, I tend to want to control things, and this was something I couldn't control.  

I just had to deal with it and have faith.

Now more than ever, I am grateful for Brielle, Braden and Brooke.  Scott and I have been blessed with three awesome kids.  I'm so grateful they are healthy and wonderful.  

Now, we just have to go on with faith and see what happens next.