Let Him Be a Little Boy

These are the 3-month old shoes of a little boy who lives in my house. 

Yes, you read correctly, 3-month old shoes. 

How does one wear out a pair of shoes to the point where they have holes in them?

This is not the first pair of shoes with holes and worn out soles.   

I often remind Braden to take it easy on his shoes, when I see him jumping in water puddles or rubbing them against the asphalt when he rides his bike or his scooter.  As I was scolding him one time, Scott heard me and gently said, "Denisse, he's just a little boy.  Let him play however he wants."  

My budget driven mind had taken over.  I do the math in my head $20-$25 every three months, I could be spending up to $100 a year on shoes for this little boy! 

As I was cleaning the shoe organizer one night, I saw this pair of shoes.  

I started to examine them and this brought me to reflection.   

I realized that these worn pair of shoes with holes reveal that a healthy boy wears them.  

He can run.  He can ride a bike.  He can ride a scooter.  He can walk to school.  He can play.  

This little 6 year old boy is healthy, able and capable of putting holes in shoes! 

At that moment, as I looked at those shoes I felt grateful that 

they had holes in them and the soles were worn out.    

I love my Braden and I'm forever grateful that he is a healthy child.  

I think I can live with paying $100 a year for shoes...

Potty Trained.

In the midst of my lack of perspective last month, when Scott pulled a 36 hours shift and was working 15 hour days on average and we never saw him, during the 'woe is me' scenario I presented to you in my last post...Little Miss Brookie decided she was done with diapers!  I had presented the idea a few weeks prior and she said she was scared of the potty.  So, I didn't push it at all.  I honestly had no interest in going through the potty training process.  She basically did this on her own and I had very little to do with it.  

I see this, now that I have re-gained a good perspective of my life, as a tender mercy.  

The Lord is in the details of my life, even when it comes to potty training. 

No more diapers for Brooke! 

This little girl really needs to stop growing.  

Perspective.

Last week, I hit a new low since residency started.  

I had the most pathetic pity party with me, myself, and I. 

I kept thinking, "I can't do this any more!"

"This is not a life I wish upon anyone", I thought! 

It seems like an awful life, when I don't see my husband for days and days and days.  

We hardly have dinner as a family.  

Everything has to be planned without him...

Our conversations go something like this: 

Me: How was your day?

Scott: Busy. How was yours? 

Me: Busy. Raising kids. I'm exhausted. 

 Scott: Me too.  

Good night. 

I cried and cried. 

I threw myself the best pity party ever! 

Then I looked at these pictures: 

From that perspective, life is simple, good and joyful.

When it all comes down to it, I realize I live a blessed life...

When life gets dark and dreary, when residency gets on my nerves and all of the demands of adulthood slam me on the face, I'm thankful to realize that I wouldn't want my life any other way.

I am abundantly blessed.   

Elder Uchtdorf"s words give me perspective:   

"So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial.  

The older we get the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don't really matter or determine our happiness. 

We do matter.  We determine our happiness. 

You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness.

Sometimes in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to find joy in the journey...

Doesn't it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment they will end?

We shouldn't wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available-all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect.  "This is the day which the Lord hath made...," the Psalmist wrote.  "Rejoice and be glad in it"

...no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish.  There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it. 

Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts.  I love the quote: "One sees the small things we can be thankful for, rather than magnifying the negative in our current condition?

...Let us resolve to be happy, regardless of our circumstances."

I think those words were spoken just for me.  

Thank you Elder Uchtdorf.

Halloween Festivities 2013

For some reason, October seems to be one of the busiest months of the year.  

Last year we didn't get around to carving pumpkins, 

so this year I made sure we made time to do this activity as a family.  

One night after dinner and taking advantage that Scott was home, we got it done! 

To our surprise Brooke was so into it! she was loving getting the pumpkin's guts out! 

Neither of the older kids enjoyed doing this when they were that age.  

Brooke was so eager to be part of it all.  

It was fun to watch her.  

She was so helpful and actually did a lot of the work! 

Then, onto carving they went.  

This year, Brielle and Braden were actually old enough do a lot of the work.  

They worked hard! 

I loved using the drill.  

We actually got two little pumpkins from our garden this year.  

We were a bit disappointed since we were hoping they were going to be bigger and we were going to get more but 2 is better than none! right? 

The kids stayed up way past their bedtimes, but our hard work paid off!

I think they turned out pretty awesome!  

This year I decided to make some costumes.  

Braden really wanted to be Mario and Brielle wanted to be Princess Peach.  

I went looking for costumes and they were so expensive and 

so poorly made I decided to make them instead.  

I wanted Brooke to be a mushroom from Super Mario, 

but couldn't figure out an easy way to make her costume. 

So I borrowed that cute chicken costume from my neighbor.  

One less costume to worry about and it was soooo cute!!! 

She was in love with it and it kept her warm.   

I enjoyed making Brielle and Braden's costumes and 

I think they turned out great and they were both happy wearing them! 

The best part is that I made both of them for about $25.  I cut my spending in half!!!

I decided to be a cat, last minute.  I made that tutu and bought the ears.  

Cheap and easy.

These cute ladies also dressed up! 

We had to get a picture together! 

Our ward Halloween party was fun and we had yummy food before heading trick or treating! 

Braden went trick or treating with his friends, and I took the girls.  

He and the other boys he went with, trick or treated for over 2 hours! 

They were very eager!

I loved watching Brooke this year.  

She was very much into and it was the cutest thing to hear her say, "trick or treat"!!! 

What a cute stage!!! 

Brielle is such a good big sister and loved going with her.  

We went out for about an hour and called it a night!  

The only somewhat disappointing part of our night was that Scott was looking forward to dressing up and taking the kids trick or treating right after the ward party, but it ended up that he had a last minute admission and couldn't leave the hospital until around 8pm!!!!!!! We were all so bummed! The kids had already taken baths and were getting ready for bed when he got home.    

But Scott announced that if they all got in their costumes again, he would take them trick or treating AGAIN! They were soooo excited and dressed up and went out for a second time! 

Scott is a good man and I love him for it.  

He was exhausted after a long day but they went out and had so much fun.  

I hope our kids remember that  night.  

Residency can be so hard on our family sometimes, 

but we try to make the best of it and give each other quality time when we can.  

I hope our kids see this and the effort their father puts into being a good father and giving them time.  

I feel grateful to have Scott.  

He definitely makes our life better when he's around.  

This Halloween turned out to be one that I hope I don't forget! 

It was a great one! 

I turned 33 years old at 10,000 feet

I turned 33 years old at 10,000 feet above sea level.  Every birthday brings me to introspection and somewhat denial of the fact that I am aging.  The truth is that I'm not getting any younger and in the past year from 32 to 33, more and more gray hairs seem to think that they are allowed to reside on my head.  As far as I know I haven't given them permission to exist among my other dark brown hair. But life is life and I am grateful for another year of life.  I have decided that, as I age, life on this earth is not what it used to be.  Every year I gain insights about my existence that I didn't have before, every year I see the world in different, more profound ways.  With all of that, comes the realization of my many imperfections and I'm glad in a way that I get to experience this mortal life, year after year after year...I am experiencing new stages in my children's lives and as they go through them, I am also going through them myself.  As Scott gets closer to being done with this 'transitional' kind of life that we have had since we've been married, I realize that this whole metaphor people use with seasons and life makes so much sense.  I see the saying "seasons of life" in a much more profound way.  As fall is ending, my favorite season of all, I feel this desperate need to hold on to it.  I don't want fall to end, I love it so much.   As my eyes have been opened to this metaphor in a meaningful way, I realize how carelessly I sometimes live my life, not really trying to enjoy and love this season I am in.  

The other night, I felt exhausted.  I said out loud what I was thinking; "I wish I were a robot!!! I wish I could just be a robot! Why can't I function like a robot?" Scott looked at me puzzled and Braden, who is scared of robots, said; "I don't want you to be a robot mom, that's scary!" I said, but robots don't get tired.  They just go and go and go.  So much of life is so menial.  I have a hard time finding joy in meeting our mortal every need.  Why can't we spend our time doing other things, other things that don't involve fixing food to eat, washing clothes to wear, cleaning messes we make, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning....did I mention cleaning? It is all so mundane.  It is hard to find a balance between the mundane and the things that matter most.  And for that reason, I am glad and grateful that I get another year of life on this earth.  I want more and more and more years of life, so I can get it right.  

Aging after all, doesn't seem so bad when I look at it that way.  

My good friend Heidi, invited Stephanie and I along with our kids to go to Brian Head.  The kids were on fall break and our husbands are busy residents, so we figured what a better way to spend this time than to head up to the mountains.  

It was so beautiful up there. 

Heidi's family owns a cabin and it was big enough for all of us.

They even had fun toys like ATV's.  We got to ride them up to a beautiful spot with an incredible view.  

These two girls get along so well and they had endless hours to play together.  

The view was amazing! 

When we got back Steph had everything ready for the kids to make sugar cookies. 

It was a fun mess! 

...and as we know, kids love messes.  

They are all two! 

Blake and I have the same birthday! 

All the kids had so much fun.  

It was a super laid back trip, definitely my kind of fun.  

Steph, Heidi and I enjoyed conversing after putting kids to bed, until way past our bedtimes!!! 

Since Brian Head is at an altitude of 10,000 feet, there was some snow on the ground.  

This is my favorite picture of our trip!

On the 18th, Heidi made my favorite carrot cake and made my favorite dinner. 

What did I ever do to deserve to have such thoughtful, wonderful friends? 

They sure know how to make a girl feel special.  

...and just like that I was officially 33.  

I think this was the first birthday away from Scott since we have been married.  

I missed him but I was grateful to be in such good company. 

These ladies are wonderful examples to me, amazing mothers and women of faith and virtue.

  I know it is no coincidence I have them in my life.    

Steph and Heidi brought the cutest little crafts for the kids to make.  

...and we of course had to get a picture of us wearing these cute little masks!:) 

What a fun little vacation!