Reflections on being 32.

I am 32 years old and I have the life I've always wanted, that is not to say that it is perfect, or that I have not a lot of refinement to do, but it is a good life and I count my blessings every day. 

At 32, I can say that I have learned a lot of lessons, from different circumstances in my life.  

One of the most meaningful lessons I have learned is that I make my own happiness and I can create a happy and productive environment for me and my family no matter where we live or what we have.

I am grateful to know who I am, I am happy to define myself as a wife and a mother, a daughter and a sister and friend...I don't wish to be defined by the material things I have (i.e. I don't ever want to be known as the woman with the huge house or the woman who drives a BMW or the woman who dresses in fancy clothes).  I don't want to be defined by what I could accomplish professionally (i.e. how many articles I have published in a fancy professional journal.) 

I want to be the woman who has a smile on her face and is happy with whatever the circumstance.

I want to be the woman who is happy mothering children and 

making a house a home that is a refuge from the world. 

I am okay being that woman. 

A few weeks before moving from Virginia, I was walking to throw away the garbage.  Two of my neighbors, were sitting in front of their building, I said hi and one of them said to me, 

'Why are you always happy? Every time I see you, you are always happy.' 

Her remarks, frankly, caught me by surprise.  

Hadn't they seen me being short with my children in the parking lot, telling them, not very nicely, to get in the car quickly because we're going to be late?; hadn't they seen my grouchy ways, when I had to drag groceries up three flights of stairs almost every week?; hadn't they seen my ornery and exhausted face day in and day out? 

I was honestly caught by surprise...

I named a few things to her, like the gospel and healthy children and a good, loving, hard working husband... my other neighbor said, isn't it obvious? it's her Church that makes her happy!

I reflected on this exchange...and especially how others perceive us and who we are, but most importantly how I truly and honestly feel inside. 

What I didn't tell my neighbor, is that I know that there is God up in heaven who loves me and that I know my life here on this earth is meaningful to Him and to my family...

I realized, that aside from the exhaustion of raising a young family and all of my shortcomings (oh so many!), I often do feel joy inside...I often do feel grateful and happy.

When I look at the big picture and not the menial every day tasks, my heart is full of gratitude. 

A week before my birthday, my family came to celebrate, since we were going to be in Phoenix on my birthday.  

I really wanted to eat empanadas and decided that I would make them.  

Penny and my mom were my helpers and they turned out delicious. 

Looking at these pictures is making me hungry! 

It was tedious work, but the final product was so worth it!

We had a yummy dinner of rice and lentils (my favorite), cucumber salad and of course empanadas, and I can't forget the Inca Kola.  

My mom, Nya and Rob bought me a coconut pie.  

Braden was very eagerly waiting to blow the candle with me!

What a funny boy! 

Thank you for making me feel special family! 

and thanks to all of my dear friends who remembered me on the 18th...thanks for the emails, the cards, the texts and phone calls...it always means so much. 

I am genuinely grateful.